lost.

So.. another pointless blog about another boy whose making everything so hard for me :(.

I can't see a way forward like normaly theres ways in which i figure out how to approach the person or confront them about the situation but i know if i do confront him its only gonna go in one ear and out of the other! :(, but its been ging on so long now and just wanna sort it out i want to be able to wake up and not feel like ive ot a sinking feeling in my stomach i wanna log onto facebook or msn and not instantly look for him to be online i dont wanna wake up look at my phone and be dissapointed when he doesnt text me :(.
it all started such a long time ago and i messed up, but it was for good reason.
we'd been so close spoke every night text all day long, i cold count on him to text me on the dot everyday i knew he'd be online at night and i loved that i never got bored of talking to him, i gave up lots for him i stopped going out as much and it was as if we were kind of together already in some kind of strange away the only weird thing i ever found was he was very reluctant to come and see me so for a little while we grew apart we didnt talk we stopped texting and i ended up getting a boyfriend, he decided that was it for us that if i was with my boyfriend then he wouldnt bother anymore but when i finaly got him to talk to me again things were fine exactly how they had been before.
this is when things went bad we were all out in hertford and i was with my boyfriend and this boy was there we were dancing and without thinking about it we got together and my boyfriend saw.. from that point onwards it was kind of over without much fuss with my boyfriend, however with this other boy everything seemed to pick up again the next morning but as i had work i broke it off and said i would speak to him later.

From that point onwards we never spoke again for a good 2 months. When i finaly got him to talk to me again we once again just picked up where we left off! like nothing had ever happened. He agreed that we should start seeing eacother and i thought progression was on the way however its just got worse now he hardly has the time to speak to me let alone go out of his way to make an effort with me! i dunno whats changed and all i know is im just getting increasingly angry with myself and i hate it :(