"It's still two human beings trying to get along, so it's going to be complicated. And love is always complicated. But humans must try to love each other, darling. We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

memory.

its like trying to understand the hardest riddle.
my mind is constantly confused as to why you thought it was okay to treat me like this.
maybe you wanted comfort or to feel as if someone was there.. but when did you stop caring? i was the one person who wondered enough to take the time to ask what was troubling you, yet you felt the need to destroy me. I thought id been hurt before, ive had my fair share of that recently but i never expected it of you. it makes me sick to think how wrong you can be about someone, and the only thing there is to do is to move on.. like nothing happened asif it was all just a bad dream because inspite of your apologies they will never be enough for me.


So on with the new year ive been writing this almost a year now and i think ive learnt alot.
ive tried to be more positive but it doesnt appear to pay off! however im gonna induldge in some online shopping and busy myself untill karma makes its way round again and i dont feel so shit anymore.

everything.

It was all fixing itself.. slowly i was regaining my confidence and i even woke up one day thinking how silly i had been for the last few months but then i saw him again and he once again became the pinacle of all my problems.
i wish this feeling would dissapear i feel like everyday it eats away at me and i cant even think about anything else. it surrounds me and feels like im being suffocated.
i only wanted to be happy but instead i get treated like shit and thrown aside.


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"you were given this life because u are strong enough to live it" - unknown

gonna look forward now :).

"the suns gonna shine on everything you do"

feeeling a bit brighter today.
changed my hair colour again and that made me feel all fresh and nice and its my bestest friends birthday this friday which means lots of acohol eeep! so very excited :).

boys dont matter anymore decided thats it for awhile :).

beginning to wonder if im ever going to get over this.

im feeling a little better now...

hiding away and not talking about it worked for awhile burying myself in a shit load of overtime and anger was silly but it took my mind off things.
I'm still in no position to be involved with anyone else.... this ones gonna take some time :(..
I never thought i would let myself become so involved or attached to someone that it physically upset me when they left or their feelings changed, i must be much more vunerable than ive ever considered.